One upon a time there was a majestic creature who decided it was time to move from a centrifugal to a masticating juicer. This of course was after spending an ungodly number of hours trapped in a click bait ad thanks to dear old Facebook. The forces that be decided to let this creature be a woman. Of course, once this woman fell into the spider’s web, she was trapped searching through Amazon and its endless catalog of beautifully displayed deceit.After researching more than 15 options, she settled on ‘Aobosi Slow Masticating Juicer 83mm(3.15inch) Wide Chute Juice Extractor Cold Press Juicer Machine’. The consensus based on Amazon’s massive reviewer base (745 reviews at the time) was 59% solid 5 stars. The top reviewers had videos and pictures singing all sort of praises for this fantastical beast. Unfortunately, the 13% solid 1 star people did not have videos and pictures to justify their anger and most likely sorrow.The woman who has frequently been surprised and disappointed by Amazon products decided to take a chance and pay $132.11 for this masticating juicer. Two days after, the machine arrived intact and in its box. After a gleeful chuckle that the box did not look like it had had made it past a war zone, she opened it up to find her nice and shiny prize.This weird creature that she was, she arranged her pieces on the counter and read through the user manual from cover to cover first. She marveled at the fact that she only had to attach 4 pieces to the machine. Bonus, her machine would not start unless all the pieces were put in securely. After she went through the rigorous 20 seconds of her life putting this together, she begun to bounce on her toes with excitement. She was ready to test drive this sucker!Her test was simple, (1) large apple. Success!On to the next step, she took apart the machine for cleaning. She had to read the manual to figure out how to take off the auger. Spoiler alert: Press the REV button. It took her less then 5 minutes to hand wash all the pieces.On day 2, she was ready to squeeze out some juice. She has a simple recipe in mind. (2) apple, (1) carrot, (1) celery stick and a piece of ginger. The final product was a mouthwatering cup of juice with minimal foam. She cleaned her machine and stored it for the next day.On Day 3, she kept her recipe simple. (2) apple, (1) carrot, (1) lemon, (2) cups of spinach and a piece of ginger. This proved to be too much for this machine. Her jaw dropped and the look of horror on her face was Oscar worthy! Her juice glass was filled with a smoothie. A freaking smoothie! On top of that, there was so much unprocessed pulp in the juice connector. Thinking she was just having a bad day, she took the machine apart, cleaned it, dried it, and put it together again. She tried the recipe again expecting different results. This is probably where she should recall the definition of insanity but alas it was 4 am and normal thinking hadn’t kicked in. Lo and behold, she ended up with a second serving of smoothie. After verbally articulating her displeasure with the piece of junk worth over $100, she cleaned it. This time, the cleaning brush was no match for those hard-to-reach corners. Of course, all the flaws of the machine were out on display including the stained plastic. The spiteful odds were against this creature this time! She put everything back in its original box. With metaphorical tears streaking down her face, she jumped on to Amazon and requested a refund.In the end, she had to drink 2 glasses of smoothie concoction for breakfast and return the machine. She then had to return to the wide world web to sift through the endless catalog of options in the hopes of finding a reasonably priced masticating juicer to add to her pile of kitchen gadgets.Moral of this story: SKIP THIS JUICER, NOT WORTH IT.THE END.